Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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