can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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