he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
