How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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