stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
