I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
