I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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