i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
