Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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