There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
