You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
