I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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