your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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