Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
