good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
