I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
