My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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