Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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