So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your penis caused this!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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