im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
