We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
