their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
