There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
