i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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