Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
