she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
