please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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