I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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