when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
