I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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