I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Someone signed my nipple.
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