Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
wow bdsm is so cute
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
