She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
