Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
