Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
