So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
