Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
