I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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