Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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