I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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