dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
