You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
