I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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