White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
