So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
