I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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