I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
