it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
