Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
