Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
