why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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