I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You may now shotgun with the bride
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
